Some conversations with family are hard, not because you do not know what to say, but because you do not know how to start.
Family Conversation Guides is a small library of short, kind starting scripts for the conversations most families put off. You can read them, adjust them to your own voice, and use them the next time the right moment comes.
Where to find it
Go to Family & Friends → Conversation Guides from the side menu.
The conversations most people need help starting
"I need a little more help than I have been saying." For the moment you have known for a while, but have been hesitant to mention.
"I want you to stop worrying so much." For when you can feel the worry in every call, and it is wearing on you.
"Let's talk about my driving." One of the hardest ones. A gentle way in, for either side.
"I want to be clear about my wishes." For advance directives, health care proxies, end-of-life preferences. Not morbid. Generous.
"I am lonelier than I would like to admit." For the days, or months, when honesty is harder than small talk.
"I want to stay in my own home." For when the conversation about moving is starting to sound serious.
"I think I need help with money." For when bills or scams or complexity are getting harder to manage.
"I want to talk about the family, and what matters." For the conversations that are not about any one problem, but about everything you want to say while you can.
What each guide includes
A warm opener. Two or three sentences to break the ice.
The heart of what you want to say. Short, clear, without softening it so much that the real message is lost.
What to ask of them. The specific thing you want. "I would like you to come for Sunday dinner more often." "I would like you to stop asking if I ate today."
How to close. A warm ending. Gratitude. Love.
Using a guide
These are starting points, not scripts to read word for word. Use whatever sounds like you. Cut what feels too formal. Add what is missing. Rehearse it quietly to yourself a few times.
If it helps, tap Save as a draft message and send it in your family messages thread instead of speaking it out loud. For some people, that is easier. The recipient can sit with it, write back in their own time, and you can talk more when you are together.
Thinking it through with Riley
If you want to think a conversation through with a quiet, thoughtful ear, try Riley, our AI relationship assistant. Riley is good for talking through options, practicing what you want to say, and working out the right words for your situation. Riley is not a therapist, but Riley is a patient sounding board.
The truth about hard conversations
Most families postpone the important conversations because they are afraid of them. And most people, after they have finally had the conversation, say the same thing: I wish we had done this sooner.
There is never a perfect moment. There is just the moment you pick up the phone, or sit down at the kitchen table, and say the first sentence. Everything after that is easier than the first sentence.
SeniorThrive is just here to help with the first sentence.